( she's fully aware of how stupid this sounds out loud, but in the dark, there's no way he can see the way her cheeks flush a deep red and the way her eyes water upon seeing his face.
this is why she has trouble sleeping. when she sleeps, felicity dreams of oliver queen, and it's something she finds herself entirely unable to handle, the feeling of her heart breaking all over again as she realizes, once more, that this isn't real, that there's no way he can actually be standing in the room with her right now. )
When I was a sophomore in high school, I took AP Psychology. We had a week-long discussion about lucid dreaming and how sometimes they can feel so real, people often mistake them for reality. ( she takes a step closer, the movement dislodging the tears that were trapped, brimmed on the edge of her eyelids. ) It's why people can wake up and feel like they've already gone through the motions of their day before even opening their eyes.
( she would reach up to wipe the tears that have fallen, but felicity finds that she can't actually bring herself to move her arms. instead, she stands tear-stained and in pink, plaid pajamas in front of a very accurate (thanks to her brain, or so she thinks) representation of oliver queen. had she been awake, she'd be mortified, but as it were, she's honestly just happy to be able to look at his face again. )
That's what this is. I'm dreaming about you. Again, just like every night since you left. ( there's a crack in her voice where the lump in her throat begins to grow. ) Why won't you leave me alone?
( it's not what she means to say. what she's really thinking is,
[ she's hurt and he knows the doing is his. the wound he left behind, it sat in her chest and heaved heavily inside with every breath she took. he would have to live with that; he would have to live with knowing she bled inside for his choices.
her words bring a softness to his features. the pit, nyssa said, brought a youthfulness to him again, but he appears older, gaunt, in the shadow. his true nature, revealed — sunken and forlorn. the ghost of a man who should no longer walk this plane. ]
Felicity — [ her name is foreign on his tongue, sacred. ] I'm so sorry.
[ sincere, the phrase cracks under the weight he feels. ] I did what needed to be done in order to keep you — [ ( always you ) ] all of you — safe.
[ the palm of his hand longs for the warmth of her cheek, the tightness of her embrace. he wants to come home again, but he isn't ready. the climb is not yet met. she remains at arms' length. ]
I knew that if I could face him, no matter the outcome, you would live.
no subject
( she's fully aware of how stupid this sounds out loud, but in the dark, there's no way he can see the way her cheeks flush a deep red and the way her eyes water upon seeing his face.
this is why she has trouble sleeping. when she sleeps, felicity dreams of oliver queen, and it's something she finds herself entirely unable to handle, the feeling of her heart breaking all over again as she realizes, once more, that this isn't real, that there's no way he can actually be standing in the room with her right now. )
When I was a sophomore in high school, I took AP Psychology. We had a week-long discussion about lucid dreaming and how sometimes they can feel so real, people often mistake them for reality. ( she takes a step closer, the movement dislodging the tears that were trapped, brimmed on the edge of her eyelids. ) It's why people can wake up and feel like they've already gone through the motions of their day before even opening their eyes.
( she would reach up to wipe the tears that have fallen, but felicity finds that she can't actually bring herself to move her arms. instead, she stands tear-stained and in pink, plaid pajamas in front of a very accurate (thanks to her brain, or so she thinks) representation of oliver queen. had she been awake, she'd be mortified, but as it were, she's honestly just happy to be able to look at his face again. )
That's what this is. I'm dreaming about you. Again, just like every night since you left. ( there's a crack in her voice where the lump in her throat begins to grow. ) Why won't you leave me alone?
( it's not what she means to say. what she's really thinking is,
why did you leave me alone? )
no subject
her words bring a softness to his features. the pit, nyssa said, brought a youthfulness to him again, but he appears older, gaunt, in the shadow. his true nature, revealed — sunken and forlorn. the ghost of a man who should no longer walk this plane. ]
Felicity — [ her name is foreign on his tongue, sacred. ] I'm so sorry.
[ sincere, the phrase cracks under the weight he feels. ] I did what needed to be done in order to keep you — [ ( always you ) ] all of you — safe.
[ the palm of his hand longs for the warmth of her cheek, the tightness of her embrace. he wants to come home again, but he isn't ready. the climb is not yet met. she remains at arms' length. ]
I knew that if I could face him, no matter the outcome, you would live.
[ he shakes his head. ]
I never meant to leave you haunted.